Chapter 2. REACTIVE Vs REFLECTIVE

Good Morning from India. It is a bright pleasant morning here and people are moving to work. I wish all my readers a Happy day and hope everyone finds enough happiness to keep smiling.

Yesterday we were talking about understanding ME and MY STRENGTHS. Introspection will help us understand our personality better. We had also discussed how introspection will help us understand our strengths and help us with a better approach while responding to various stimuli received from the environment.

Today we shall discuss another important point which helps us build our personality. If we think deeply we would find that most of us are by default set into what can be called as the reactive mode. Let me explain what I mean…Whenever someone proposes something which is not in our comfort zone the default reaction is to say “NO”…”IT CANNOT BE DONE”…”IT IS IMPOSSIBLE”…”I GUARANTEE YOU THAT IT CANNOT BE DONE”…etc. We do not take a pause and promptly respond with a negative. Could you think of a reason why so?? It is because of the inertia of moving from a known environment to an unknown environment. We feel that the unknown may bring loads of problems to us and would cause additional burden. Hence the negative reaction. This is what I mean by REACTIVE mode.

Now for a change let us switch over from a REACTIVE to a REFLECTIVE mode. By reflective mode I mean accepting the suggestion from others and taking a pause to ponder upon the thought presented by the others. Maybe the pause will make us respect the thought given by the others and give us different perspective. Instead of a blatant “NO” now we are thinking that maybe there are valid reasons to the proposition. May be it could work? Maybe it is the need of the hour and we must change too?  Do you think bringing about a small change in our attitude could help us improve our relationship with others. Saying a blunt “NO” often hurts others. Whereas changing the approach would bring in more positivity and thought provocation.

Bringing about just a small change in our attitude from a reactive mode to a reflective mode would help us radically in improving not just our relationships with others but also help us understand the subject better. Most of the problems we face in this world are due to communication issues. We communicate something based on our understanding of the issue and our circumstances while the one who receives the communication does so based upon his understanding of the issue and his circumstances. He then reacts basis his understanding and circumstances and we receive it again basis our understanding and circumstances. In this entire 2-way journey communication changes itself 4 times and gives rise to a totally wrong interpretation of what we wanted to communicate in the first place. 80% of our problems arise due to problems in communication as mentioned above.

Let us try and bring about a small change in the way we speak and the way we hear. One of my bosses in my earlier working years used to give me a very beautiful example. He used to say God has given us One Mouth and Two Ears and not the other way round. Hence we should use them in the same proportion…meaning talk less and listen more. In my subsequent blogs, I shall be taking up the issues of listening vs hearing and a lot of other communication issues. But for now let us remember the golden words of my boss…’use them in proportion’.

Empathizing with others is probably the only way to sort out such communication issues as once we move from a reactive to reflective mode we are listening and willing to try and understand the other person.

Just think if we can get rid of 80% of our problems won’t life be much happier and easier? Wont we be filled with positive energy and look forward to communicating with others better. So I feel it is time that we stop saying the impromptu “NO” and switch over to taking the golden pause. Whether it is our work life where our boss gives us an instruction and we promptly say “NO” or it be our personal life where our super boss at Home…The WIFE gives us an instruction and we say “NO”, making about just a slight change from “NO” to “Maybe” can solve a majority of our problems. So Let’s just make a start…

I leave you all to ponder upon these thoughts with a funny photo of how communication of convenience changes the entire meaning of what is communicated.

Hope you all have enjoyed reading this article. Do write in your thoughts. Thank you for your time and do share it with others if you liked it. HAVE A POSITIVE WEEKEND AND KEEP SMILING ALWAYS…