Chapter 1. Do We REALLY Understand Ourselves??

After my brief introduction, I begin this discussion, with some hard hitting thoughts. The question that I have often pondered is, whether we really understand ourselves? A question, the answer to which, I personally believe that every soul in this planet is searching for.

How do we undertake this journey to try and understand ourself is the most important point where most people come to a dead end and abandon the effort. These are the people who end up being one amongst the crowd not knowing why they exist. To begin with, lets ponder a bit about ourselves and think for the reasons what make us different from others? The whole world is full of billions of human beings. So let us first try and identify our unique differentiating trait which will be the starting point of this journey. Some may feel that we do not have any such trait but let me simplify it a bit further. I wish to make a statement that NO TWO HUMAN BEINGS ARE SAME. We may have similar looks (as in identical twins), similar builds, similar personalities but still we will find that no two persons react to the same situation in a similar manner. What is it that differentiates these reactions? Isn’t it the first testimonial that people are different?

Having said so let us now introspect and try to identify the few traits that we feel will make us different from others. They could be anything from physical appearance, physical parameters, intelligence, emotions etc. To make it a little bit simpler let us tabulate all our traits under different heads like Appearance, Parameters, Intelligence, Emotions and any other group head that you may think of. Example Under Heading Appearance, traits could be good looking, handsome, beautiful, petite, ordinary looks, pleasing etc. Similarly under Visual Parameters we could have traits like tall, short, fat, thin, muscular, beautiful eyes, curvy figure etc. etc. Like wise if we can make a table of various human traits we could identify our unique traits by combining a few of them. For example I could be a tall man with above average intelligence and a very soft heart which cannot hurt others. Having done so we could also see the number of permutations and combinations that could be had by combining all elements of our table which brings me back to the initial point that no two people are same.

Now that we have started making an attempt to understanding ourselves a bit. Having said so we are in the process of understanding ourself. And the first step in that direction is taken. Now we have some brief thought about what is our differentiating trait. One must never mistake the fact that what we perceive as our strength or most preferred trait may be seen as a negative trait by some one else. But that discussion is for now being parked, as we shall initially limit our discussion to self and not move to interpersonal relationships which is a much bigger gamut to discuss and I shall do so in course of time.

Now let us look back to our discussion. Why did I ask us to try and identify our traits. Some may say we have grown with it from our childhood and hence we know it. Here it is important to understand that despite we knowing everything about ourself there are some personality traits which get dominant basis certain circumstantial inputs. Lets take my personal example. My dominant trait is to care for people and not hurt anyone. Till a few years back if someone started criticizing my approach or accused me of wrong doing. the feeling of empathy would get diminished and was replaced by offensive arrogance which was obviously a defence mechanism for me. Now having complete knowledge of this behaviour, I have tried to control those negative emotions and be more balanced in my approach towards criticism or praise. This happens to be the primary reason as to why we should try and understand not just the self which is dominant in me under normal circumstances but also the self which dominates under adverse or favourable circumstances.

The short gist of this discussion is an attempt to sensitize the readers to the importance of trying and understanding the self as the first step to attaining peace of mind. In my subsequent blogs I shall dig deeper into the finer aspects of behavioural improvements that can be created in our personality if we take time and understand how we behave to the inputs from our environment. But for now let us take the first step to understand “Me and My Strengths”.

Do keep writing in your comments or arguments for further discussions if any. I can also be connected directly on anujbaronia@gmail.com.

So long then…Thank you for spending time on my blog. Be Positive and Keep Smiling…